We have received the following limericks anonymously. As with any humour, they're not to be taken too seriously, although there's a saying "Many a true word spoken in jest".

They do rather sum up popular impressions of the EU quite well...

A leadership hopeful called Clarke
Thought that he would be a bright spark.
He thought he'd pretend he
Was not Euro-friendly....
...He'd rather we joined the Deutschmark?

* * * * *

'Europe Minister' Alexander
Saw 'thirty grand' pounds being squandered
As his Presidency logo
Turned out to be 'No-Go'
When the Bruges Group's was used in a blunder!

* * * * *

A young bureaucrat called Claude
Uncovered a great Brussels fraud -
Gave OLAF a ring
But they can't do a thing
Cos everyone else is 'on board'!

* * * * *

The EU project's poor health
Hasn't affected its fat cats' wealth.
The Hampton Court1 junket
Means they haven't sunk it -
Drink to 'federal Europe by stealth'.

The French and the Dutch in a temper
On Turkey becoming a member.
Tony's budget rebate
Continues to grate
So he'll give it away in December...

* * * * *

Peter Mandelson's in a fix
Over import quotas for 'knicks'
His transvestite clones
Like their cheap women's clothes
But now they must wait till '06

[2006 that is... and from 20072?]

Tony said 'Sorry' to Dubbya
Policing Iraq was a failure
Since the EU ran our troops,
Our best battle groups
Were still on the beach in Rumania...


1 EU October 2005 Summit at Hampton Court Palace
2 Rumania joins the EU in 2007


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This page compiled: 27 October 2005